


winter in the sun

by 89neil



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, M/M, Neil Perry (Dead Poets Society) Lives, Nonbinary Character, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Soulmates, Trans Male Character, except cameron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/89neil/pseuds/89neil
Summary: neil and todd slowly start feeling weird things for eachother; they become aware of it the moment neil's chest starts glowing after todd recites a poem in front of the class.
Relationships: Charlie Dalton/Steven Meeks, Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	winter in the sun

neil's lack of interest when it came to anything that wasn't art wasn't of any trouble to him, or his friends. they knew him better than he himself did, and they grew to understand and accept his little grimaces when charlie would show him playboy magazines he managed to sneak in the all boys dormitories, or the straightforward rejections to their invitations to nights out with women him and knox met. they understood and accepted him, even when he bursted out "I'm a queer, pitts!" when the tall boy tried once too many times to hook the brunette up with a woman. they understood and had already known, because it was pretty much obvious. they also understood the way neil's life took a sudden turn when todd appeared in his life, thing neither of the boys in question understood. it almost felt like watching a theater play, with two not very wise characters running after eachother. dalton likes to think it started the moment they locked eyes. overstreet thinks it was when they exchanged greetings, and meeks and pitts agree that it was in the showers. cameron just disagrees with the whole 'queer' thing, calling his buddies buffoons for ever thinking neil would dare swing that way. the group would ignore him, though, except for charlie and his rude but deserved remarks.

 _"i'm sure neil was just joking,"_ cameron said once, at dinner, when neil would be absent, together with todd, _"to make pitts stop."_

 _"and knox's still sure you're nothing but a goody two shoes-"_ , charlie would spit out, with their mouth half full, _"but we all know you're actually a stupid teacher's pet."_

cameron's mouth was now shut, even if he was burning with homophobic anger on the inside.

neil was always jealous of knox for finding his soulmate at such a young age, one of his biggest wishes being to experience that glowing chest. to see how it feels to realize you finally found the person you'd spend the rest of your life with. does it burn? is it a tingly sensation? does it itch? is it just a visual reaction? he had so many questions and such a burning curiosity that, at times, he couldn't even bring himself to fall asleep. his leg would shake and he'd just end up staring out the window 'til sun rose in front of his sleepy eyes.

sometimes todd would accompany him in his adventurous sleepless nights, pretending to write in his notebook, when in reality, he'd catch glances at the gorgeous brunette resting on the badly functioning heater of their room. sometimes he'd catch himself staring at the taller boy's gorgeous figure, but he didn't really stop himself. he knew he was obvious, so it didn't stop him from paying attention to every single detail of neil's face. from his rosy cheekbones that formed small creases whenever his big, beautiful smile made its appearance to those brown eyes of his that, unlike the rest of his face, would almost always express emptiness, loneliness and worry. those eyes made todd curious, made him wonder whatever it is that's making neil so sad. he wanted to get to know the boy, to understand him and make him feel accepted.

neil was aware of the sandy-brown haired boy's stare, but he didn't mind. he rather enjoyed it, because it proved his feelings of curiosity were mutual. neil took an interest to todd the moment they met eyes, not only because the short boy's simple existence expressed anxiety, or because of the scars on his chest and the medication resting under the bed, but also because of his unusual love for literature and poetry. he rarely met someone as devoted to a subject like he was to acting. todd's simple love for writing made the brunette feel less alone. neil questioned everything about todd, but he'd guessed asking private questions would just scare him away, so he didn't put too much thought into it. all he knew was that todd, the boy now asleep with the small notebook in his lap, was as beautiful as a god, and that he'd do anything to touch those cheeks of his with the tips of his fingers, and to listen to his beautiful verses.

the crack of the wooden floor under neil's tiny, soft steps made todd shudder, his eyes now open.

 _"off to sleep?"_ , he questioned, his voice tired. he let his notebook fall off the side of the bed as he laid down, on his side, still half asleep.

 _"no."_ , neil let out, sitting himself down on his own bed, _"too many thoughts."_

 _"understood."_ , todd let out, _"do you wanna share them with me?"_

neil then fell silent. he did want to, but he realized it'd be pretty darn stupid of him to go ahead and ask _'by the way, what's that thing you inject yourself with after everyone's asleep, in the showers?'_ , or _'why do you always take showers when everyone else's finished?'_. he'd look intrusive and he'd lose the trust of the only person he'd weep after in the whole school, and he didn't want that. anything, but that. after a few minutes of complete silence, neil let out a loud groan, laying down on his back. _"it's just me questioning everything. everything about me, my existence, and you."_

the sudden sounds coming from neil awoken todd completely, the sentence surprising him. he let his mind wander around, in hopes of understanding what questions neil could possibly have, as he stared in the pitch-black room, almost trying to find a spot of light, to ease his tired eyes. _"i'll tell you everything you need to know."_

_"issue is- i'm too scared to ask you anything." "_

_i won't back away."_ , todd said quickly, understanding neil's anxiety far too well. his words made neil glance back at him, the light of the moon resting beautifully on his cheekbones and nose. it made his eyes shine, as if he was crying. his lips formed a small, shy smile, but sure enough to make neil understand the situation. todd wished to break the wall between them- no, he wished to make a path between the two, with a huge open gate. he wanted to invite the boy into his small world. \

_"why do you never take showers with us?"_

_"i have scars i don't want to show."_ , todd said, getting up on his elbows, running his fingers through his hair, he let his head fall, forehead now touching the bed. _"they're not self-harming scars, though. don't worry."_

_"then- what kind of scars are they?"_

_"why don't you look for yourself?"_ the question had made neil swallow his words, apologetic for asking too much. aware of todd's annoyed tone, he fell silent for a good minute, before raising on his arse and turning to him.

_"come here, then."_

todd looked back up, in the boys direction, his lips parted. he got up and took his shirt off, taking the few steps between their beds. neil reached with his hands towards the pale boy's waist, his eyes wandering on his chest and torso. he ran his hand up todd's abdomen, stopping as soon as he reached the small hallow space between the boy's rib cage. his fingers moved towards his side, feeling the small but evident creases and change in his skin. there was scar tissue, and he immediately understood what todd was hiding.

they shared a secret, both of their hearts close to exploding.

_"thank you."_

_"_ _mhn. goodnight"_

**Author's Note:**

> hi. my name's berlioz and i write for fun and giggles. i was pushed by my twitter friends to make and publish a story, because we're all in need of more anderperry content.  
> everything will be lowercase. i find it prettier that way.  
> i've not written a story in over two years, so i'm terribly sorry if it'll make you gag.


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